The glory without the sweat, blood or tears
Sick of lugging a huge pack crammed with heavy climbing gear? Finding freeze-dried food just a little tiresome? But you still want to climb a high peak? Drawing on a recent jaunt to the Pyrenees, here are ten tips for summiting a 3000 metre peak without the weight, desperation or substandard food.
- Leave your climbing gear and ice tools in the cupboard
- Don’t buy any packet food
- Pay a large amount of money to book a flight to Europe and feel lots of guilt about your contribution to climate change
- Turn up at the airport and check in your 10kg pack
- Get off in France and head for the hills to do a circuit criss-crossing the French-Spanish border, taking in the world famous Cirque de Gavarnie and Breche de Roland
- Eat local meals every night and buy gourmet cheese and fresh bread as you walk
- Meet and walk with language teachers fluent in English, French and Spanish so that you experience less confusion and misunderstandings
- Drink lots of cheap Spanish beer
- Climb Le Taillon, 3144 metres, bearing a day pack with next to nothing in it
- Savour the moment of being higher than Mt Aspiring, sweat-free and hardly puffing